Dr. Ruth, pioneering sex therapist, dies at 96

FILE - David Marwell interviews Dr. Ruth on stage during the YM&YWHA Of Washington Heights And Inwood Gala Honoring Dr. Ruth at Gustavinos on December 03, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for YM&YWHA of Washing

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo topics, has died. She was 96.

Westheimer died on Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu.

Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behavior. Instead, she encouraged an open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of. 

Here are things to know about Dr. Ruth:

Dr. Ruth show

Dr. Ruth’s local radio program, "Sexually Speaking," catapulted her into the national spotlight in the early 1980s. 

The New York Times reports she was in her 50s when she started the show, and she answered listeners’ mailed-in questions about sex and relationships. 

Her radio show was a 15-minute segment heard after midnight on Sundays. 

Her extensive knowledge and training, coupled with her humorous, nonjudgmental manner, helped her rise to fame.

Dr. Ruth career

Her radio success opened new doors, and in 1983 she wrote the first of more than 40 books: "Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex," demystifying sex with both rationality and humor. There was even a board game, Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.

She also wrote a nationally syndicated advice column and later appeared in a line of videos produced by Playboy, preaching the virtues of open sexual discourse and good sex. 

She soon became a regular on the late-night television talk-show circuit, bringing her personality to the national stage. Her rise coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, when frank sexual talk became a necessity.

She normalized the use of words like "penis" and "vagina" on radio and TV, aided by her Jewish grandmotherly accent.

Westheimer's giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking — and sounding — outlet for "sexual literacy." The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.

Dr. Ruth Holocaust

Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, she was an only child. 

At 10, she was sent by her parents to Switzerland to escape Kristallnacht — the Nazis’ 1938 pogrom that served as a precursor to the Holocaust. She never saw her parents again; Westheimer believed they were killed in the gas chambers at Auschwitz.

Dr. Ruth sniper

At the age of 16, she moved to Palestine and joined the Haganah, the underground movement for Israeli independence. She was trained as a sniper, although she said she never shot at anyone.

Her legs were severely wounded when a bomb exploded in her dormitory, killing many of her friends. She said it was only through the work of a "superb" surgeon that she could walk and ski again.

Dr. Ruth gay rights

In the 1980s, she stood up for gay men at the height of the AIDS epidemic and spoke out loudly for the LGBTQ community. She said she defended people deemed by some far-right Christians to be "subhuman" because of her own past.

Her rise was noteworthy for the culture of the time, in which then-President Ronald Reagan’s administration was hostile to Planned Parenthood and aligned with pro-conservative voices.

Ryan White, the director of "Ask Dr Ruth," told Vice in 2019 that Westheimer was never someone following trends. She was always an ally of gay rights and an advocate for family planning.

"She was at the forefront of both of those things throughout her entire life. I met her friends from her orphanage saying even when she met gay people throughout her life in the ’30s, ’40s, and ’50s she was always accepting of those people and always saying that people should be treated with respect."

Dr. Ruth husband

Westheimer married her first husband, an Israeli soldier, in 1950. 

The marriage ended in 1955; the next year, Westheimer went to New York with her new boyfriend, a Frenchman who became her second husband and father to her daughter, Miriam.

In 1961, after a second divorce, she met her life partner: Manfred Westheimer, a fellow refugee from Nazi Germany. The couple was married and had a son, Joel. They remained married for 36 years until "Fred" — as she called him — died of heart failure in 1997.

She is survived by her two children and four grandchildren. 

The Associated Press contributed to this report. 

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